TRACK LISTING

Demolition
Face Value
Blood in the Songs You Play
Ghost
Here
Identical Strangers
Hole in My Head
Lost in Your Love
Afraid to Bleed
Goodbye

The Grey Trust
Stefán Örn Arnarson, cello


The first album from The Grey Trust, The Great Rust is an alternative adult pop/rock song cycle that explores loss, breakup, and isolation connected by a metaphorical idea that relationships can oxidize over time.

Written and produced by Mark Zaki, the ten songs on this record are a combination of older revisited songs that were originally for film and theater projects dating back to the 1990s, and new songs composed especially for this record.

The Great Rust was written in Princeton, Los Angeles, and Sheffield (UK), and was recorded between May 2016 and February 2017 at Zaki's personal Studio Z in Princeton, NJ, and at the Rutgers Electroacoustic Lab in Camden, NJ.

The Grey Trust is a vehicle for Zaki's commercial and side projects ("an eclectic collective with no muse unturned"). Future projects in the works include artpop/electronica, progressive experimental, and electro-jazz recordings.

All songs © Mark Zaki/MeanTone Music (BMI)

DEMOLITION

We’re all going to watch the wrecking crew
Put all the charges in position
Then watch my soul explode, watch me lose control
Watch the demolition

I can't help but feel I don't want to be here
To live with this indecision
So tear it to the ground and feel the hammer pound
It's all over, demolition

It’s all give and take but I’ve given you so much
Neck deep, I’m drowning in suspicion
No matter what it used to be you keep revising history
So much demolition

I can't help but think I don't want to be here
I want to fly, but there's no ambition
You've taken it apart and it's gone too far
Too much demolition

I dream that we can still come through
Why won't you say it's true
I’d still hold on
I’d still lean on
I’d still look
To you

But I can't help but feel I don't want be here
To live in such submission
So tear it to the ground and feel the hammer pound
It's all demolition
Demolition


FACE VALUE

I’m in a panic because I’ve forgotten which part I’m supposed to play
My mind is frantic searching for the lines I’m supposed to say
And all at once, nothing seems to make sense

You say I know you, you recognize me but I’ve never seen you before
You say I owe you but I don’t even know how to settle the score
All at once, it seems that it's a mess

Face to face at face value
Are you really someone else
Face to face at face value
I don’t even know myself

You keep changing and rearranging before I know where to stand
Strangely putting on new faces that I just don’t understand
I reach for you but you won't take my hand

Face to face at face value
It's enough to lose my mind
Face to face at face value
What else can I find?

Take a good look around, tell me what you see
Tell me about the things you want to feel
Are they real?

I know I’ll wake up, I’ve got to wake up from this nightmare that I’m in
Before I break up, I’ve got to get out but I don't know where to begin
I'd turn to you but you don’t let me in

Face to face at face value
Round and round we go
See it all at face value
Where no one seems to know
Take it all at face value
It’s never what it seems
Face to face at face value
Reality is a dream


BLOOD IN THE SONGS YOU PLAY

In that moment between light and dark
There’s a voice where yours belongs
That melancholy alchemy
My scars shouldn't sing these songs

But your verses are a jail
That emprison a romance
Dead lungs can't exhale
Dead hearts have no chance

Blood in the songs you play (knock me to the floor)
Blood in the words you say (knock me to the floor)
My heart unwraps emotion
Unfolding you betray
Blood in the songs you play (knock me to the floor)

You still want something but you’ve nothing to show
You still want something but you're gonna go home
You still want something and you end up going alone

But if instead a kiss
Slips stolen from your lips
Could I keep it,
Without your love, your love eclipsed

Rushing on my sadness gets ready,
Mind to chest to heart to soul,
Caress me and it shocks
Rock me and it rolls

Blood in the songs you play (knock me to the floor)
Blood in the words you say (knock me to the floor)
Your words unwrap emotion
Unfolding my dismay
Blood in the songs you play (knock me to the floor)

Pick me up and knock me to the floor
Hold me till there’s no more


GHOST

Trying to find a way in
We'd connect, and we'd shift
Lying to find a way out
We'd reject and we'd drift
I've been walking the streets at night
Trying to figure out my crime
Hellos turn into unspoken goodbyes
That fade as they’re left behind

Now you're a shadow, a vision
Burned in to remind
You're a ghost, an apparition
I'm the one who’s left behind

Sleeping just holds the dream
Everything disappears
Staying awake just keeps you here
But doesn't mute the tears
Nothings wrong, but nothing's right
Daylight's been resigned
What stings the most is what changes hope
Discarded and left behind
Like you've left me behind

You're a shadow, a vision
Burned in to remind
You're a ghost, an apparition
I'm the one you’ve left behind
Now you're a shadow, a vision
Forever in my mind
A spirit for my condition
I’m the one who’s left
Left Behind

The last time I held your face
You asked me not to leave
While you slowly slipped away
I stayed cause I believed
Now it's the memories that fade away
With all that they contain
But you refuse to be forgotten
If I dream, then you remain
It's the dream that remains

You're a shadow, a vision
Burned in to remind
You're a ghost, an apparition
I'm the one who’s left behind
Now you're a shadow, a vision
Forever in my mind
Haunting my disposition
While I'm the one who’s left behind
Left Behind


HERE

Even though you push away
You hold me close and let me stay
And while your mind is somewhere else
You tell me you're afraid
You want me to go but you need me all the same

Staring at an empty space
Up on the wall I see your face
My thoughts are somewhere else
They won't let go
I want to leave but I need you all the same

I feel your heartbeat as it's spinning out of sight
I hear you whisper but it's fading in the night
I never thought you'd turn to fly
I never thought you'd want to hide
You slipped away
And left me here

Holding on to what I thought
We had with everything I've got
And now I'm left just standing in the rain
It's time to go but I can't get past the pain

I hold my breath just waiting for a sign
I hear your voice but it's a memory inside
I never thought you'd turn away
I never thought I'd hear you say
You're so alone
When you left me here

I can tell you anything at all
But you can't hear what I'm trying to say
In between the thoughts that passed
Between us I can feel your burn
When I reach out to touch you
Just to hold you close

I feel your heartbeat as it's bending out of sight
I hear your whisper but it's fading from the light
I never thought you'd question why
I never dreamed I'd see you cry
I'm still here


IDENTICAL STRANGERS

Checking my reflection in a window on the street
There’s a stranger staring back at me his face is incomplete
I think I recognize him I’ve seen him once before
A momentary lapse into a world that I’ve ignored
There’s a woman right behind me looking past my face
She's fixing up the makeup that she managed in her haste
She’s just like all the people I see every day
(One by one by one they come, they never go away)

Life is full of identical strangers
We all look and feel and laugh the same
Looking at a world of identical strangers
I just wonder if we feel identical pain

We’ve got identical houses on identical streets
Identical jobs in identical suites
We’ve got identical wives and lovers and cars
And we drink the same drinks in identical bars
We’ve got identical problems, identical dreams
We even conform to identical schemes
You can tell me about your day at work, I’ll tell you all about mine
If we both try to talk at once maybe we'd save some time

Life is full of identical strangers
We all look and feel and laugh the same
Looking at a world of identical strangers
I just wonder if we feel identical pain

We’d all like to feel we are somewhat unique,
Our differences keep us alive
But human nature is an identical streak
Running through our everyday lives
It doesn’t really matter what dance you do,
It doesn’t really matter what you say
Makes no difference if you don’t see my point of view,
Underneath we’re all the same

I understand you’re not feeling well perhaps you’re just depressed
With everything that’s going on we’re all a little stressed
Your doctor said the same as mine we’d better get some rest
We’ve got identical diseases from identical pests
We can try to find the answers while we’re searching for the cure
Whatever’s got you down has got me too I’m sure
Is it so surprising that we both feel the same
I’ve known you for so long but I still don’t know your name

Life is full of identical strangers
We all laugh and cry the same
Life is full of identical strangers
We all hope and dream the same
Life is full of identical strangers
We all look and feel the same
Looking at a world of identical strangers
I just wonder if we feel identical pain


HOLE IN MY HEAD

Sitting here looking at the shadows inside
Staring at the wall I just can’t hide
Is there something here I can’t decide
Tell me you lost me, don't tell me you tried.

Got a hole in my head, my dream's on the floor
Got visions of you, you're not there anymore
Did you mean to tease me this way
Did you mean to leave me this way

Sitting here thinking hard trying to find
All the little pieces that are left to remind
All the little pieces that you left behind
That tell me it's over, and tell me I'm blind

Got a hole in my head, my dream’s on the floor
Got visions of you but it seems like there’s more
Did you mean to treat me this way
Did you mean to leave me this way
Got a hole in my head

Too many voices competing for space
Too many choices completing your face
Too many lines, too hard to erase
The emptiness you left me that I just can't replace
I got a hole in my head, and everything's red
I got a hole in my head, am I better off...

Sitting here looking at the shadows inside
Staring at the wall I just can’t hide
Is there nothing here I can’t decide
Tell me you lost me, don't tell me you lied

Got a hole in my head, my dream's on the floor
Got suspicions of you but just wanted more
Did you mean to need me this way
Did you mean to leave me this way
Got a hole in my head, and everything's red
Got a hole in my heart, am I better off...
Got a hole in my heart, it only hurts if I’ve bled


LOST IN YOUR LOVE

Looking out my window
The city's down below
I wonder if you're out there
I wonder where you'd go
Maybe I've held you much too close
Maybe I've left too much exposed
Now I'm just lost in your love

I can't help shake off the feeling
That this is how it all ends
Is this where we both get off this ride
And never make our amends
Maybe you've seen too much in me
Maybe you've put your trust in me
Now you're just lost in my love

Looking at your eyes indite
Couldn't see what they implied
Wouldn’t hear you say that it’s all right
Couldn’t face what we denied
Maybe we didn't realize
That this is what kept us both alive
As we got lost in our love

Looking out my window
I see the lights down below
I wonder if you're still here
I wonder if you've let go

Maybe I've held you much too close
Maybe I've let my feelings show
Now I'm just lost in your love
Lost in your love


AFRAID TO BLEED

I look at you when you're not here
I talk to you when you can't hear
I tell you things to hide my fear
But the cuts are deep and never disappear
You are all I need
I'm afraid to bleed

A difference won't make the circle square
And pain just makes a better prayer
Your kiss has left an empty space
In my heart and on my face
You are all I need
I'm afraid to bleed

Unspoken words they seem withdrawn
A part of you has left, now they're gone
A thousand blameless lines left unsaid

Unspoken words they seem so wrong
A part of me has left, now they're gone
A thousand faultless lines never read

Be perfect now, it's just too late
I'll close my eyes my dreams can wait
Before you say goodnight, stay awhile
Before you fade away, let me smile
You are all I need
But I'm afraid to bleed


GOODBYE

Just can't reconcile it all
These feelings deep inside
I think of you and I see the wall
But I don't want to hide
It's such a bad connection
There's nothing coming through
It's such a mad deception
Wondering was it true
Now it's goodbye

I think of all the hours we spent
Talking long into the night
Sharing secrets we never meant
To come out into the light
Such a bruised reflection
Emotions never showed
Such confused perception
Did you really know
That this is goodbye

Distances are bridged by close separation
Behind an uncertain veneer
Perhaps it's a result of resigned desperation
Giving in to what you fear
Now it's goodbye

I think of all the times we spent
Debating different points of view
Turning unwelcome sentiment
Into a passion we never knew
It's such a strained connection
This message I get from you
Such a strange deception
I still wonder if it's true
But it's goodbye

info [at] thegreytrust.com